A future hope

"I want to talk to you about the subject of plans, life plans and how we all make them, and how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own.  But if we're really honest with ourselves, most of our plans don't work out as we'd hoped.  So instead of asking our young people, "What are your plans?  What do you plan to do with your life?" maybe we should tell them this: Plan to be surprised." ~ Dan In Real Life

Anyone who spends any length of time with my immediate family will quickly come to recognize my father's love for movies.  So, the time I spent at home is generally colored by which movies I watch while I am there.  Lexington was not really a prime location for seeing new movies as our theater only showed three movies at a time and the next closest theater was a 30-45 minute drive.  I really haven't gone to the movies much in the past four years, except when I was at home.  However, whenever I do go home, my family is always discussing some movie that they've all just watched and have a million inside jokes for, and then we usually watch it together.  Dan In Real Life was one of those movies this time.

The movie documents the family vacation of recently-widowed Dan (Steve Carrel) and his three daughters, all in various stages of moving through life.  Dan has tried to rigidly control their lives and his own, and this has become even more apparent since the death of their mother.  Much to Dan's surprise, the reunion turns his life upside down, and he has a completely new perspective on the future by the end of it.  This is when he writes the aforementioned quote on plans.

I used to plan out every detail of my life.  I had this idea that by a certain age I would graduate from college, get my first job, be married, start having children, publish my first book, etc.  I think part of that was wanting to give myself something to dream about when I was bored.  Now, I think that it is a good idea to have goals.  We should be encouraging our young people to have an idea of where they want to go and what they want to do, and I think that it can be good to say that we would like something to happen by a certain date.  BUT only if we have the control to make that happen.

In the movie, Dan's problem is that he is trying to control things that he cannot possibly control.  I think that is the major problem with the planning that we do in our lives.  I have had a lot of people ask me in the past couple months where I think I will be teaching next year.  My answer is that I would love to be back up in Northern Virginia with my family, and hopefully a good number of my cousins, but I know that my life is going to be completely different eight months from now.  Everything about my life can change in a day, for better or for worse, and a single event can sometimes have the intensity to alter my views on where I want to be.  There may be a compelling reason for me not to be in Northern Virginia, and I know that I need to stay open to that.

I like the idea of planning to be surprised, because this gets at the idea that the future is hopeful and something to be experienced and embraced, especially if we don't know what is going to happen.  This is something that we need to instill in young people, especially our students, and in "old people" as well.  :)